Dogs In The Yard
by LadyBoston
Summary: Pre-RENT. Roger meets a familiar girl on the street. [Song fic. This one's pretty old, and not very good ;P]


[I wanna be bad]  
  
[And not even care]  
  
[I wanna go out of my head somewhere]  
  
The Girl sat on the sidewalk, laughing to herself. She stared blankly at her apartment building across the street. Left to her own devices, one could only be glad that this time it wasn't a bad trip, and she didn't need anyone by her side just yet. "Crazy! You're STUPID! Stupid, ha!" she screamed, and a woman - only slightly older than The Girl herself - quickly scurried away. The beautiful girl laughed a little more. She always got her kicks out here, making fun of people, never noticing that people were making fun of her as well. It never occured to her. She was invincible, indestructible, a wonder! This was what she'd always wanted. To live on her own, free from her past, free from herself. She was happy now! Happy now. Nodding, believing herself to be satisfied, she never noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks.  
  
[I wanna go crazy like the dogs in the yard]  
  
[I wanna cut the rope]  
  
[But it's gettin' so much harder..]  
  
She stood up, throwing her arms out, and cried out. It was a shout of love, passion, beauty, but also of anger, hatred, and pain. A sort of cross between a laugh and a sob, one passing stranger noticed. The Girl twirled, losing her balance, stumbling and laughing and screaming as she watched her world spin. "Dizzy, dizzy, dizzy," she called in a sing-song voice. Before she could regain her balance, she was on the cold asphalt again, lying there, staring up at the eternal nothingness that stretched out around her. "Gutter of stars.." The Girl whispered, pressing her cheek to the cool street and closing her eyes tightly. Tonight would be okay. Tonight would be okay. She was a good actress, and tonight would be okay.  
  
[I think I'll play poker]  
  
[Stay out every night]  
  
[Throw stones at the water in the morning light]  
  
Roger Davis clutched his guitar. "Inspiration, inspiration," he muttered. "One great song."A bitter laugh escaped him. "One great song? I can't even write two lines, why should I even ATTEMPT a whole verse? And then a whole SONG?"Frustrated, he pushed his guitar off to one song, then jumped up, pacing around the loft. He'd promised not to worry too much, he'd promised to take it easy and do things the way he wanted to do them. The promises seemed to crumble and fade as he scolded himself, slowly sitting down on the table. "Do things with the guys. Don't think. Be spontaneous. Have fun. Easier said than done."  
  
[I wanna be lazy like the dogs in the yard]  
  
[Why can't I fly tonight?]  
  
[Why can't I sleep all morning?]  
  
[I'm going out of my mind tonight,]  
  
[That's where I'm going]  
  
[That's where I'm going..]  
  
As if on cue, laughter flowed through his window again. Roger stood up and inched closer to the wall. Of course, there she was. The same girl, same time, all the time. He crouched down, peeking out from behind the window ledge. For someone who called himself careless and without fear, Roger sure seemed scared of having that girl notice him. He didn't know why, but sometimes he longed to be more like her. She looked so happy. So happy! Always laughing, she didn't seem to have a care in the world. Then again, he'd been like that to, before he'd quit the drugs. He knew that's what it was, and he knew it was wrong, but she made him wish for a taste of his old life. She didn't know it, but he wanted to be down there, laughing with her. Of course, he could never tell anyone about her, not after everything that had happened. It was his secret. She was his secret.  
  
[Gonna have a good time]  
  
[Before it's too late]  
  
[Come on, baby, let's go uptown and celebrate]  
  
[Gonna celebrate]  
  
Roger checked his watch. It wasn't yet 1 am. He smiled to himself, quickly pulling on a jacket. He'd go talk to her, see if she wanted to go to a bar or something. No one had to know. He figured it wouldn't be a permanent arrangement. She probably wouldn't remember him tomorrow, anyway. Hell, he wouldn't ask her anything about herself! For a moment, Roger wondered if he even wanted her name. He figured it was probably best not knowing. That way, he wouldn't be tempted to look her up or anything. No one would ever have to know that he'd left the building, and tomorrow, when Mark came home, he could pretend that it had been just another night. He could say that once again, he'd stayed locked up in the loft, as he'd been doing for the past six months.  
  
The Girl brushed the back of one hand across her face, which was now sticky with sweat and tears. She crawled to a building, then propped herself up against it, returning to her dreamy state of mind. Slowly, she twirled a strand of hair around her finger. "Everybody needs a little fun, gotta have a little fun." she teased, as homeless people walked past her. "Wanna have fun? Have fun.. Fun.."  
  
[We're gonna run crazy like the dogs in the yard]  
  
[We're gonna fly tonight]  
  
[We're gonna sleep all morning]  
  
[We're going out of our minds tonight]  
  
[That's where we're going]  
  
The Girl didn't even notice the tall, blonde man approaching her. Had circumstances been a little different, she might've attacked him with some vicious comment, or screamed at him to leave her alone. As things were now, though, she simply sat at his feet, humming something to herself, blissfully ignorant.  
  
"Hey, excuse me." Roger murmured, kneeling down and gently touching the girl's shoulder.  
  
She opened her eyes, then closed them again, unable to focus properly. "Mrr?"  
  
"I was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee. You look like you could use it."  
  
"No!" she replied sharply, her fingers curling in towards her palm, then outstretching again, as if she were trying to make a fist and finding herself incapable of doing so. A soft whimper escaped her.  
  
Roger carefully reached out, stroking her head. "Hey, hey," he repeated. "Are you alright?"  
  
"Having a nice time, and.. falling." she murmured, her head consequently falling back against the wall.  
  
Roger winced, worried that she might hurt herself. He pulled her closer to him, cradling her against his chest. It felt so good to hold someone again. "Yeah, I see how that mighta happened." he laughed softly, nuzzling her hair. For a moment, it was like holding April again. His head settled on top of hers, and he closed his eyes as well. "April, April," Roger whispered, his voice breaking as he spoke his last girlfriend's name.  
  
[That's where we're going..]  
  
The Girl nearly purred, until she realized that her name wasn't April at all. "No, no, no," she tried to push him away from her, falling backwards with a soft thud. "You can't, I'm not.." It wasn't the first time she'd been called by another name, and by now, she knew what it meant. "I'm not!" she repeated.  
  
Roger's eyes flew open, and he groaned as he realized what he was doing. She was right, he couldn't do this. This wasn't having fun, this wasn't his original plan. She wasn't April! Quickly stumbling to his feet, he stammered voicelessly for a moment. Staring at the girl who, once again was curled at his feet, Roger shook his head. "Who--?" He caught himself before finishing the question, and mentally slapped himself. He didn't know who she was. He didn't want to know! Quickly, he blinked back tears. He didn't want to know..  
  
She watched as the man stepped away from her, then turned and rushed towards another building. He removed the loose brick that was keeping the door open, then ran inside and disappeared. She buried her face in her hands. He'd asked "Who," but he'd left before she could reply. True, she wasn't exactly at her best right now, but couldn't he have had the courtesy to talk to her? Why had he left so suddenly? The Girl tugged on her hair. What had just happened?  
  
Roger slammed the door to the loft, flinging himself into his bed. Temptation proved to be too much, though, and he stole a glance out the window one last night. She seemed to be rocking back and forth, and it looked like she was talking to herself. "Poor thing," he whispered, feeling guilty about escaping, although he had to admit that being locked up in the loft again felt much safer.  
  
The Girl looked up, catching sight of the blonde head in the window. The wind seemed to echo his last words, and she wrapped her arms around herself.  
  
He settled back into his bed, fully clothed, and ran a hand through his hair. "I never have to see her again," he said quietly, as if trying to convince himself. "And everything's gonna work out, and I won't have to worry, because I don't know her name. I may still be Roger Davis, but she isn't April. She won't ever be April. I won't ever have to know who she is. I don't know her name, and that's better. I don't know her name.  
  
She stared at the window, and tears blurred her vision as she slipped into feverish half-dreams, punctuated with two words that could forever have changed the life of several people in a very different way, had they been spoken earlier.  
  
Roger thought he heard her voice, and quickly pulled a pillow over his head to drown out her sobs.  
  
"Mimi Marquez. Mimi Marquez. Mimi Marquez.."  
  
[Author's Note: Okay, so this was written at 1 am or so; forgive me. I know it was predictable and the song wasn't exactly necessary, but shhh... ;P] 


End file.
